Learn how doing nice, unexpected things for others can boost your own mood.

Do you remember the last time somebody did something nice for you? Maybe a friend took you out for dinner, or your boss complimented you on a job well done. It felt good, didn’t it?

When an act of kindness is unexpected, the surprise adds to your delight. What you might not realize is how your own mental health benefits from being kind to others.

Learn more about random acts of kindness and their mental health benefits.

Connect with a mental health therapist 7 days a week and get help for conditions like anxiety, depression and more with Mental Health Complete Plus.

What is a random act of kindness?

A random act of kindness is an action you take to make someone else feel good. And you don’t expect anything in return from them for it. Typically, they’re not big or bold acts. They’re often small, thoughtful and unexpected gestures. That could be giving someone a ride home, for instance, so they don’t have to take the bus.

What are the mental health benefits of performing random acts of kindness?

People are social by nature, and social connections are essential to our emotional well-being. Random acts of kindness are meant to benefit other people, not ourselves. When you engage in this type of behavior, you and the person you’re being nice to both benefit.

“It’s always nice to be on the receiving end of kind acts,” says Natalie Dattilo, Ph.D. She’s an instructor of psychology at Harvard Medical School and a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice. “But there’s just as much benefit in it for us when we act with kindness.”

Below, find 6 mental health benefits of random acts of kindness — plus some ideas for kind acts.

1. Random acts of kindness increase your connection to other people.

Engaging in acts of kindness for others, such as getting another passenger’s bag down on a plane or giving someone your seat on a bus, leads “to stronger feelings of connection” and increased feelings of momentary happiness.

When we’re of service to others — both people we know and strangers — our body may produce more of the bonding hormone oxytocin. “One of the main psychological and mental health benefits of our acts of kindness is that it helps us feel closer to other people,” Dattilo says.

Idea: Consider volunteering. In addition to being good for your mental health, volunteering may help you live longer, as “older adults who volunteer have … lower mortality rates” than their “nonvolunteering counterparts.”

2. Random acts of kindness increase your self-esteem.

Being kind to other people, even if it’s just holding the door for someone, fills you with positive feelings of self-worth and self-respect, which in turn increases your self-esteem, Dattilo says.

“When we see ourselves doing these things, it gives us feedback about ourselves — who we are and what’s important to us,” she says. “There’s something very powerful about seeing ourselves as somebody that does acts of kindness or extends kindness to other — whether or not others are even aware of it.”

Idea: Donate books to others in your neighborhood (you may have seen people set up little boxes where you can donate or swap them). Consider writing messages on sticky notes addressed to the next reader or including homemade bookmarks.

Did you know that you can meet with the mental health therapist of your choice, virtually, from your own home? Check out your virtual mental health care options.

3. Random acts of kindness help decrease stress.

When you are kind to other people, your body makes less “cortisol, a hormone directly correlated with stress levels.” The result is that you feel more relaxed, happier and more resilient.

Idea: Make it a point to be extra kind to people in the so-often-stressful service industry and consider overtipping on occasion. People tend to underestimate just how much positive impact being kind has on another person. The more you appreciate the value it has to the other person, the bigger the impact will be on you too.

4. Random acts of kindness improve how you regulate your emotions.

When you are kind, Dattilo says you feel more “expansive” — more open and receptive. Being this way helps improve our emotional regulation — the ability to maintain our composure and be emotionally balanced, especially in challenging situations.

“Any of these things that we’re doing with intention, with focus, with presence, with purpose is helping us maintain and build the emotional regulation muscles that we want,” she says. “Those are the things that help us in those moments where we feel imbalanced, dysregulated and unfocused.”

Idea: Listen. Just listen. Listening to another person with openness, focus and attention makes them feel seen as well as heard.

5. Random acts of kindness reduce symptoms of depression.

The increased social connection you experience, for example, when you are kind to other people can help reduce the risk of depression.

“One of the ways to prevent or lessen the intensity of a depressive episode is by going against what it would feel natural to do, which is to do less socially,” Dattilo says. “When you feel yourself withdrawing, or becoming very inward and self-focused, try to resist the urge to do that and help somebody else instead. It seems very counterintuitive, but it’s actually really beneficial.”

Idea: Deliver flowers or veggies from your garden or some sweet treats to a neighbor.

6. Random acts of kindness reduce symptoms of anxiety.

Increased social connection through acts of kindness can also help reduce symptoms of anxiety. For example, anxiety symptoms such as worry and catastrophic thinking can result in a lot of inward focus and rumination, Dattilo says. “Interacting with other people is one of those things that will help you get out of your head,” she adds.

Idea: To say thank you for their friendship, invite a friend over for coffee or tea, or mail them a handwritten thank-you note. Expressing gratitude can also significantly improve “psychological well-being,” including happiness.

Bottom line: Many of the mental health benefits of engaging in random acts of kindness come from the power of increased social connectedness. Still, it might be hard to believe just how effective consistently performing random acts of kindness can be. Rest assured, “little things do add up,” especially daily acts of generosity, says Dattilo. “Kindness is in some ways an act, but it’s also an attitude,” she says. “It’s a way of living.”

Get virtual mental health support in a few easy steps. Learn more about Mental Health Complete Plus today, or call a licensed insurance agent at 1-844-211-7730 for more information.

Sources:

American Psychiatric Association. “The mental health benefits of simple acts of kindness.” February 17, 2023. Retrieved from https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/mental-health-benefits-simple-acts-of-kindness

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Social connection.” March 27, 2024. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/social-connectedness/about/index.html

Internation Journal of Applied Positive Psychology. “The effect of expressed gratitude interventions on psychological wellbeing: a meta-analysis of randomised controlled studies.” January 28, 2023. Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s41042-023-00086-6

Mayo Clinic Health System. “The art of kindness.” August 17, 2023. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/the-art-of-kindness

Stanford University: The Sightlines Project. “Engaging in volunteerism may hold significant health benefits.” Retrieved from https://longevity.stanford.edu/engaging-in-volunteerism-may-hold-significant-health-benefits/ Accessed July 16, 2024

University of California, Berkeley: Greater Good Science Center. “How small acts of kindness can help with anxiety.” May 29, 2023. Retrieved from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_small_acts_of_kindness_can_help_with_anxiety

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